One-Shots of Randomness
by hkhkcat
Summary: Includes Firestar's real death . . . and, well, I don't want to spoil it for you.
1. Firestar's Real Death

Firestar was fighting bravely against the Dark Forest, when Tigerstar gently padded over to him.

"Hello, Firestar!" he mewed contempously.

"Tigerstar? If you're ready to battle, I'll battle, even if it means losing my last life!" Firestar snarled.

"Of course I don't want to battle!" Tigerstar sneered. "You'll be gone even worse!"

"Fine! But I won't go down without a fight!" Firestar leaped onto Tigerstar and started clawing. However, Tigerstar easily tossed him off onto the ground, winded.

"Ready?" Tigerstar asked. "Of course you are." He took in a deep breath, then started chattering away.

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Soon Firestar was lying limp on the ground, never to move again.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DEATH BY JAVASCRIPT!" Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw screamed at the sky.

As the Dark Forest warriors retreated, having achieved their goal, Squirrelflight and her mate carried Firestar back to the ThunderClan camp to share tongues with him one last time.

Inside the camp, the cats all mourned and asked what the cause of death was. Having only a couple scrapes and bruises, naturally he wouldn't be dead.

"Tigerstar, h-h-he said something like script Ess Arr Cee," Brambleclaw explained, glancing downwards.

"What does that mean?" Spiderleg asked.

"Who knows? Something about JavaScript," Brambleclaw shrugged.

They then padded over to their leader and laid next to him, weeping in agony and at the same time, laughing at Ess Arr Cee.


	2. Two Kits and the Freshkill Pile

Stormkit laughed and leaped around the clearing of RiverClan. His brother, Oakkit, followed him. Their proud mother, Rainflower, watched, with their father, Shellheart, behind her.

"Come here!" Stormkit called to Oakkit.

They both jumped simultaneously into the freshkill pile, large musty-smelling mice and fresh, dripping fish on top of them.

Suddenly, Stormkit looked up. There was no light. He tried to take a breath in. His lungs were stuck, and as he gasped for breath, nothing happened.

"Oakkit!" he rasped.

"What?" Oakkit called back softly.

"We gotta . . . eat our way out!"

"Well, I'm hungry!" Oakkit mewed back, meant to be jokingly, but actually full of fear.

The two cats set out in the same direction, taking bites of rich fish and mice bigger than they were. They were too heavy to push out of the way.

Soon Oakkit saw a burst of light. "Stormkit!" he yelled, taking in a deep breath of sweet, heavenly air.

When Stormkit didn't reply, Oakkit bravely dived back into the pile and dragged out his unconscious brother.

Oakkit bounded over to Brambleberry.

"Can you save him?" Oakkit pleaded, gazing into Brambleberry's eyes.

"Of course I can," Brambleberry chuckled. "It'll take a bit, though. He'll have to sleep with me for the night."

Oakkit padded away in silence, though actually laughing underneath.


	3. Bonding While Jumping

Firestar was padding along the Thunderpath, trying to create a cool and calm expression, however, underneath he was rather afraid.

He was heading towards the ShadowClan camp, for a meeting that Tigerstar invited him, just him, to speak with only Tigerstar.

As he padded towards the camp, all the ShadowClan warriors turned towards him expectantly. Firestar ignored them and put his regal face on.

When he reached Tigerstar's den, Tigerstar stared at him with a malicious grin.

"Hello, Firestar," he mewed. "And how are you doing on this fine day?"

"Fine."

"Are you ready for the meeting to commence?"

"Yes, I am," Firestar replied.

"Okay, then!" Tigerstar grinned. "Trampoline time!"

A trampoline appeared out of thin air. Tigerstar leaped onto it.

"Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun!" he shouted as he bounced higher and higher.

Firestar jumped on, and, magically, the trampoline moved towards the clearing.

"Oh, yeah. I made it do that so that we wouldn't hit our heads on the ceiling of the cave," Tigerstar remembered.

"Nice," Firestar smiled in approval.

Firestar then leaped up into the clouds, and was exhilarated by just how high he could go.

"Wahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo!" he called, then realizing the bad news . . . he was stuck up there!

"Help!" he called.

"Help help help!"

"Help help help help help help help!"

"Help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help!"

Still no one helped.

From thousands of feet up, Firestar could miraculously see Tigerstar leering at him.

"Not on fire now, are you? The water vapor will extinguish your blaze up there!"

"Wow, you know a lot of science, don't you?" Firestar yelled.

"Yeah, I took Honors in high school!" Tigerstar replied.

Well, somehow, Firestar didn't tell me that part, Firestar found his way down, and there was a lot of gore and blood before Firestar fond his way back to the ThunderClan camp and regained his sense and went to Cinderpelt.

Then, he went back to the ShadowClan camp to try it again.


	4. What is an Apel?

Sandstorm was walking around the forest one day when she spotted a strange . . . thing . . .

She picked it up in her jaws and sunk her teeth into it. It had a strange . . . sweet crunchy flavor.

"Yum!" she mewed, and noticed that there were a bunch of them lying around. She picked them up and carried them back to the camp and put them on the freshkill pile, one by one.

Once she was finished, Firestar walked out and noticed all the strange red things on the freshkill pile.

"Sandstorm?" he asked quizzically. "What are these?"

"I don't know!" she meowed. "Could I look it up on the computer?"

"Sure!" Firestar replied. "Just try not to break it."

Sandstorm carried in an apple and scanned it.

Next an image popped up on Firestar's computer screen.

_It's no fair that_ he _gets to have a computer!_ Sandstorm thought. _Everyone has one! Yellowfang, Cinderpelt, even the deputy and the queens. I actually _need _one!_

Sandstorm read the words. 'Apple,' it said.

"Apel? What is an apel?" Sandstorm wondered out loud.

She bounded outside. "Firestar! What is an apel?"

"I think that it is that thing that you're holding in your hands . . . " Firestar mewed.

"Oh," Sandstorm said.


End file.
